CHRISTMAS IN JULY!
by Lessa A. Katsmire
Summary: YES!! I realized it's July, so I HAD to do a christmas skit! ^_^ R&R!!


Ahem. I don't own Yugioh, and IF I DID, it would be centered more around Joey, and there would be MUCH MORE Tea bashing...oh and new episodes would come out sooner, and.....   
  
Joey-OOH! VICIOUS, aren't we?   
  
Lessa-YUPPERS!! ^_^   
  
Seto-What are we doing today?   
  
Lessa-A CHRISTMAS SKIT!!   
  
All-O.O   
  
Mokuba-but it's not christmas yet!!   
  
Tristan-it's not?! *stops decorating christmas tree*   
  
All-*anime fall*   
  
Yugi-sooo..what skit are we doing?   
  
Lessa-GRANDPA GOT RANOVER BY A DUEL MONSTER!!!!   
  
(A HUGE THANKIES TO AISLIN,FOR GIVING ME THAT SUGGESTION!! ^__^ YOU ROCK!!)   
  
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TWASTHEFIRSTBORDEREVERANDITGAVEAHEADACHETOMESOISUFFEDITINTHETREE!!  
  
**************************************************************************** *   
  
Ok, before we begin our lovely skit, I'll hand out the script, give everyone 10 minutes to memorize them, then I'll tell yall who's who!! ^_^   
  
%%%%#### 10 minutes later...#####%%%%%%%   
  
Ok, here's the cast!!(beware..^___^)   
  
Grandpa-grandpa!(gee..I WONDER WHY?!)   
  
Yugi-is a relative of 'Grandpa'(no duh!)   
  
Yami-cop1   
  
Bakura(evil one)-cop2   
  
Ratha-is a fruitcake vendor   
  
Aislin-suspect1   
  
Tea-suspect2   
  
Neko-neo the feirce knight(reindeer names...)   
  
Tristan-feral imp(another reindeer name!!)   
  
Weevil-insect queen!(so what if i can't spell reindeer names?!)   
  
Seto-SANTA!! ^___^   
  
Mokuba-an elf   
  
Serenity-Paramedic1   
  
Joey-Paramedic2   
  
Ryou,Marik and Isis-techies, sound effects and lighting   
  
ok? on with the SKIT!! *points backstage* whoops! ^_^U *points forward*   
  
*curtain closes for set setup*   
  
*************************************************************   
  
Costume room   
  
*************************************************************   
  
Grandpa-this is the craziest idea she's had YET!   
  
Yugi-but it's for your own good!! *tosses grandpa costume to Grandpa* Besides, we get PAID!   
  
Grandpa-We DO?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?! *puts on Grandpa costume*   
  
Seto-*snickers* you look so old...   
  
Grandpa-*adjusting 'Grandpa' glasses'* Well, at least I don't have to gain 40 pounds to play the part of Santa!! *snickers*   
  
Seto-So what if they stuffed my costume with pillows?! At least I'M Santa!! And I get to lug around gifts!! ^__^   
  
Mokuba-*is elf costume* And I'm AN ELF!!   
  
Aislin-And you look like you came out of Lord of the R-*Yami, who is dressed in a policeman outfit, covers her mouth*   
  
Yami-Don't say it, or we'll get sued!!   
  
Aislin-oops, sorry! ^__^U   
  
Bakura-and I'm a drunk cop!   
  
Yami-Hey, how's your hiccups?   
  
Bakura-*hic* great! *hic*   
  
Neko-I'M NOT GOING OUT THERE LIKE THIS!!   
  
Tristan-Neither am I!!   
  
Weevil-I'm NOT going to wear THIS DUMB NOSE THINGY!!   
  
Aislin-*pulls them out of the corner, and they are pushed in, wearing reindeer costumes over their duel moster costumes*   
  
Neko-Remind me to torture my hikari for a WEEK!!   
  
Tristan-Heck, why not a whole month?   
  
Neko-I take that back, make it a year....   
  
Lessa-*pokes head in* GUYS! You're ON IN FIVE!! Places!! *goes upstage*   
  
Yami-Let's go!! Got the props, Isis?   
  
Isis-Yup! Let's do this!   
  
Bakura-Break a leg everybody!!   
  
Marik-Literally...   
  
**************************************************   
  
*curtain opens(der)*   
  
Yami-*standing over 'Grandpa'* tisk,tisk, he didn't look both ways...   
  
Bakura-*is woozy, cuz he just drank some egg nog* Look cop1!! I found EVIDENCE!!   
  
*points to halfway-full bottle, and hiccups*   
  
Yami-*raises eyebrow* you destroyed evidence, you DO know that, right?   
  
Bakura-*hic* c'ourse I de! *hic*   
  
Yugi-*runs up from stage left* GRANDPA!!!   
  
Seto-*snickers from backstage*   
  
Bakura-*whispers* damare....   
  
Yugi-character Bakura!   
  
Bakura-oops...*acts drunk again*   
  
Yugi-NOOOO!!! He was soo nice!! WHHAAHH!!!!   
  
Ratha-*comes in wearing a hotdog vendor uniform* FRUITCAKES!!   
  
GET 'EM HARD HERE!!   
  
THE BEST BUILDING AND NOT THE BEST EATING MATERIALS THERE IS!!   
  
FRUITCAKES FOR SALE!!   
  
Yami-O.O   
  
Aislin-*runs in from stage right* I SAW WHO DID IT!!   
  
Bakura-*is still 'drunk'* You're a *hic* suspect!!*hic*   
  
Aislin-*blink blink* I am?   
  
Yami-you were there last night, weren't you suspect1?   
  
Aislin-and so was suspect2!   
  
Tea-*dodges flying tomatoes as she runs in from stage right* I SAW WHO DIDIT TOO!!   
  
Bakura-what are we doing again? *hic*   
  
Yami-solving a non-murder case, cop2....   
  
Bakura-*drinks more eggnog* *hic* riight...I say*hic* suspect2 did it, case closed! *hic*   
  
Yami-agreed! *arrests Tea, and drags her to a 'car'* (car is made of cardboard..)   
  
Tea-*protesting* HEY!!   
  
Aislin-Wait cop1 and 2, don't you need evidence?   
  
Bakura-*hic* *points to eggnog* *hic* got it! *hic*   
  
Yami-and since you're a suspect too, you need to come with us to- COPNUMBERTWO!!   
  
Bakura-*is arresting the fruitcake vendor* *hic* oops..*hic*   
  
Ratha-Oh well, I'll just sell my fruitcakes to the jailbirds!!   
  
Yami-*is getting suspect1 and 2 in the cop car* no..you don't need to...   
  
Ratha-I don't care, i'm going anyways! Scoot over suspect 1 and 2!!   
  
*Marik makes sputtering engine sounds from backstage*   
  
Yami-Drat, Fruitcake vendor, you fruitcakes are weighing the car down, you'll either have to drop the fruitcakes, or walk...   
  
Ratha-I'll walk..*gets out and exits stage left*   
  
*Paramedics run in as Isis makes ambulance sounds*   
  
Serenity-MAKE WAY!! The old man may STILL BE ALIVE!!   
  
Joey-What do we do?!   
  
Serenity-CPR!!   
  
Joey-CPR?! I CAN'T EVEN SPELL IT!!   
  
Serenity-*pulls car clamps out of the cop car* CLEAR!!   
  
*Isis makes the lights dance around the stage, while Marik makes sizziling sounds*   
  
Grandpa-*flinch, flinch*   
  
Serenity-CLEAR!!   
  
*more dancing lights and sizzling sounds*   
  
Yami-Let's leave them to their job, where's cop2? COP2!!!!   
  
*Bakura is passed out*   
  
Yami-*drags Bakura into the 'car'* *turns on 'car', and 'drives' off stage right*   
  
*curtain closes*   
  
*set change, and the curtains open to a dark room, with Tea and Aislin sitting on chairs under a bright light*   
  
Yami-*walks in from stage right* *shines a flashlight in Aislin's face* WHERE WERE YOU ON THE NIGHT OF THE 25th?!?!   
  
Aislin-At a party!   
  
Yami-*points flashlight at Tea* AND YOU?!   
  
Tea-At a party!   
  
Bakura-*mumbles from his passed-out-ness* Lies! *hic!*   
  
Yami-That's what they ALL say, where were you, REALLY?   
  
Aislin-I was at your house, sitting on the couch with you, sipping hot cocoa, and..*Yami clamps hand over Aislin's mouth*   
  
Yami-*blushes* please, details will make me go mushy!! ^__^   
  
Tea-Eeeww..I don't want to know...   
  
Aislin-*thwacks Tea* SICKO!! *thwack*   
  
Tea-ITAI!!   
  
Yami-so when you...left...suspect1, what happened?   
  
Aislin-I saw a grandpa lying on the road, and a sleigh-shaped figure in the sky...I think it was pulled by two..no..three....duel monsters?   
  
Yami-O.O what was everyone drinking?! EGGNOG?!   
  
Bakura-*hic* IT WAS *hic* SANTA!! *hic*   
  
Yami-BRILLIANT cop2!! Call the north pole, and tell 'Santa' he'd better have his insurance card with him.....   
  
Bakura-*hic* Yessir! *hic*   
  
Tea-do you even KNOW the number?   
  
Yami-O_o *pause* dang-it..-_-U   
  
Bakura-1-800-Imajollyfatdude!!*hic*   
  
Yami-ookkkk.....let's go!   
  
*curtain closes* *set setup* *curtain opens*   
  
*we're at the north pole, with Seto, in a Santa Clause suit, sitting at a desk.*   
  
*Mokuba, dressed in a cute green elf suit with big ears, runs in*   
  
Mokuba-Santa-Sir! Phone call for you on line ONE!   
  
Seto-Elf, please stop bugging me, I've a business to run..(A/N: does THAT sound FAMILIAR to you?! ^__^)   
  
Mokuba-But Santa-Sir, it's the COPS!!   
  
Seto-Tell them just because I go down people's chimmynies, doesn't mean I BREAK IN!!   
  
Mokuba-it's not that...   
  
Seto-then tell them wait till next year, and I'm sorry I mixed up everybodies gifts!!   
  
Mokuba-It's not that either...   
  
Seto-((O.O)) it's not?! HAND OVER THE PHONE!!   
  
*curtain closes* *set change* *curtain opens*   
  
*We see Vixen(Neko), Cupid(Tristan), and Rudoulf(Weevil) sitting around...*   
  
Neko-geeze, I thought I'd NEVER take these fake antlers off!!   
  
Tristan-Vixen, leave them on...*drools*   
  
Neko-(((O_____O))) *thwacks Cupid over the head* HENTAI!!   
  
Tristan-*rubs head with a cloven hoof* AM NOT!!   
  
*Seto runs-er...he can't run...(bounces? Yeah that's it..)er..bounces in from stage left*   
  
Seto-Duel Monsters, I'm sorry I interrupted your rest...but I need you three to pull my sleigh...   
  
Tristan-Messed up orders AGAIN Santa?   
  
Seto-*pulls out whip* Don't make me USE this...   
  
Weevil-().() Eep!! To the SLED!!   
  
*Mokuba pushes in a red Sled, and hooks up the three 'Reindeer' to it*   
  
Tristan-Hehe, Vixen, I'm BEHIND you again...*evil smirk*   
  
Neko-try it Cupid, and I'll kick your face in...   
  
Weevil-*turns on nose* *blink blink* OFF TO NEVERLAND!!!   
  
Other Reindeer, Elf, and Santa-O_o   
  
Weevil-oops, I meant....OFF TO THE POLICE STATION!!   
  
*curtain closes* *set change* *curtain opens to the same police station*   
  
*Santa is sitting on the 'guilt chair'*   
  
Yami-*shines flashlight in Seto's face* WHERE WERE YOU ON THE EVE OF CHRISTMAS??!!   
  
Seto-I was delivering gifts to all the good little boys and girls!!   
  
Bakura-*hic* LIES! *hic*   
  
Yami-ignore him, he's has a rusty night...   
  
Seto-I know..   
  
Yami-wait..how do YOU know?!   
  
Seto-duh, I'm Santa, remember?   
  
Yami-no you're not! you're some jolly fat dude in a Santa suit that's getting a hangover from drinking TOO MUCH EGGNOG!!   
  
Seto-No? then how do you explain the flynig Duel Monsters?!   
  
Yami-*thinks* Dang-it, you're right...Ok, then if that's your alibi, then explain the 'Grandpa' deal...   
  
Seto-The reindeer went CRAZY!! Cupid rushed after Vixen, Vixen poked Rudoulf, and Rudoulf went down!! I pulled them up, and when I did, I hit this drunk Grandpa over the head, then the Reindeer went up, and dissappeared!!   
  
Yami-So it was a hit and run?!   
  
Seto-IT WAS A FREAKING ACCIDENT!!   
  
Mokuba-*runs in* Santa, phone call from Sally on line one...   
  
Seto-take a message, Elf....   
  
Mokuba-Yessir Santa!! *runs offstage*   
  
Bakura-*hic* so if you're really Santa, how come I got a bottle of eggnog? *hic*   
  
Seto-Cuz that's what you asked for, and you asked for a girlfriend too....   
  
Bakura-*hic* WOW! It's SANTA COP1!!!   
  
Yami-*massaging temples* That's JUST WHAT I JUST FINISHED STATING!!   
  
Bakura-*hic* I wasn't listening...*hic*   
  
Yami-obviously...Send in the elf cop2....   
  
Bakura-*hic* yessir! *hic*   
  
*Santa exits stage left, and Elf runs in stage right, and sits on the chair*   
  
Yami-WHERE WERE YOU ON THE EVE OF HAUNNIKA!!   
  
Mokuba-O.O   
  
Yami-er...the eve of christmas?   
  
Mokuba-delivering gifts to--*gets cut off*   
  
Yami-LIES!! WHAT HAPPENED!??!   
  
Mokuba-*really fast* HE WAS DRUNK!! HE PLAYED CHICKEN WITH THIS DRUNK GRANDPA,AND HIT THE GUY OVER THE HEAD!!*takes in deep breath*   
  
Yami-pressure, huh?   
  
Mokuba-yup...it's hard being 3 feet tall....   
  
Yami-i know...   
  
*curtain closes, set change, and opens again*   
  
******************hospital*************************************   
  
Yugi-GRANDPA!! Are you ok?!   
  
Grandpa-what?   
  
Yugi-puts microphone to his mouth* I SAID,GRANDPA,ARE YOU OK?!!   
  
Grandpa-Don't Yell!! i heard you the FIRST TIME!!!   
  
Yugi-O_o   
  
Grandpa-Whoo...gotta lay off that....LINE!!   
  
Seto-*from backstage* eggnog!   
  
Grandpa-thanks! Eggnog!!   
  
Yugi-do you remember ANYTHING?!   
  
Grandpa-SURE I DO!! I--what's you name again, lad?   
  
Yugi:-_-U you're hopeless....   
  
*curtain closes, and it opens again with the whole cast wearing santa hats, and holding song papers*   
  
Lessa-and so, Grandpa never got back his memory, cop2 stayed drunk, cop1 sentenced Santa to 500hours of community service, Cupid never stopped bothering Vixen, Rudoulf retired, Suspect2 went to heaven, suspect1 went on to be a singer, the fruitcake vendor got a marketing job selling fruitcakes, Elf1 went into acting and showbiz, and Grandpa's relative got nothing, but had a good christmas anyways!! TAKE IT AWAY!!   
  
*music to Grandma got ran over by a Reindeer starts*   
  
Everyone-Grandpa got ran over by a duel monster! walking home from our house christmas eve! you may think there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandma, we believe...   
  
Mokuba-He'd been drinking too much eggnog,   
  
Yugi-and we begged him not to go,   
  
Yami-but he didn't listen anyways,   
  
Bakura-and he   
  
Aislin-stumbed out the door   
  
Ratha-into the snow!   
  
Yugi-When we found him christmas morning, his memory went black.   
  
Yami-He had hoofmarks on his forehead,   
  
Bakura-and incriminating clause marks on his BACK!!   
  
Everyone-Grandpa got ran over by a duel moster, walking home for our house christmas eve! you may think there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandma we believe!   
  
Aislin-It's not christmas with out Grandpa,   
  
Ratha-everyone is dressed in black...   
  
Seto-but we just can't help but wonder,   
  
Bakura-should we open up his gifts   
  
Tea-or send them back?   
  
Everyone-SEND THEM BACK?!   
  
Everyone-Grandpa got ran over by a duel moster, walking home for our house christmas eve! you may think there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandma we believe!   
  
Yami-One more TIME!   
  
Everyone-Grandpa got ran over by a duel moster, walking home for our house christmas eve! you may think there's no such thing as Santa, but as for me and Grandma   
  
WE BELIEVE!!!!!!!   
  
Mokuba-GOD BLESS US,EVERYONE!!   
  
Seto-Um...Mokuba, that's for the next skit...   
  
Mokuba-oops, oh well! ^__^   
  
Lessa-THANKS SO MUCH!! Review guys, and the next skit tomorrow night, is either Rudolf the red-nosed duel monster, or the night before christmas!! HAVE A GOOD EVENING!! ^__^   
  
****************************************************************  
  
FINDMEABORDERFINDMEABORDERFINDMEABORDERBORDER!!!  
  
****************************************************************  
  
Lessa-how was that?   
  
Joey-GREAT!! But I didn't get a big role...   
  
Yugi-neither did I......   
  
Lessa-don't worry, whoever got a leading role won't get one next skit!   
  
Aislin-why?!   
  
Lessa-*evil look* BECAUSE THEY WON'T WANT TO!! BUWAHAHAHAHA!!!   
  
All-O.O 


End file.
